Beauty in Impermanence

Considering my last post was in February, I doubt anybody reads this blog - but here I am, making a not-quite-triumphant return to SL.

It has been many months since I have been able to log in with any regularity. There are a few reasons for this.

I have several First Life "things" that interfere with having any sort of Second Life. One of those things is being employed. Not that this is a bad thing, but when you live in EST and the majority of your friends live closer to SLT, it is a hard choice to have to make between staying up late and actually being functional at work. Since I work at a job that requires a great degree of speed and accuracy, sleep trumps socializing for the most part.

The second of these things is school. Most of my SL friends and acquaintances know that I am going to school part-time (read: night school). Juggling school and full-time employment is difficult at the best of times, but this semester I have a class on Sundays. A 6 hour class. A 6 hour class that starts at 9:30 am. So there goes my Saturday night, where I may have had a chance of staying up, and pretty much my weekend. I have missed out on a lot of SL fun, and a whole truckload of real life fun, too. Also I happen to be taking two classes with quite a bit of math involved - math that I keep pooching. This has not helped me feel any better about life in general - frankly, this term has kicked my butt.

Thirdly, I have some ongoing real life issues that are causing me some major depression. Some of these issues I have control over and recently I've been trying to take some control. One of the big issues I have very little control over, and it is an expensive issue physically, mentally, and financially. It is hard not to let this big issue overshadow my life, and it often does. I know this sounds all mysterious but I'm not quite ready to publicly "out" myself on this issue (a few of you know, and some may guess - I'm fine with discussing it privately).

The other thing that has kept me from logging in? Everything has changed. EVERYTHING. Hallelujah Blue is no more, Azul is under new ownership (who is doing a WONDERFUL job by the way, and it is turning into a really awesome place to live, but I suffer from major nostalgia), friends and people I knew six months ago have disappeared or are rarely on, stores I loved have disappeared into the ether...

But, I guess just like with real life changes I will weep my little weep for what was and what might have been and then try to move on. I've got a new skin and a new shape; working on getting a new AO - and heck, I'm even considering trying a new viewer. I will hold on to the times I have with old friends and will try to be more open to making new ones.

I will try to keep the following quotation foremost in my mind, as I find it applies to most things in my life right now:

"The notion is called wabi-sabi: life, like the cherry blossom, is beautiful because of its impermanence, not in spite of it, more exquisite for the inevitability of loss."
-- Peggy Orenstein, Waiting For Daisy